If I could change one of my personality traits, it would be the one in which I can tell you exactly how everyone else is wonderful and explain to you exactly why they are better than me. I don't know why I compare myself to everyone else. It's like I want to be the Weird Science girl. I wish that I had this characteristic of this person, that from another, etc. It's pathetic, I know, and I have absolutely no idea why I do it, but it seems that I always have. It seems to kind of fade in and out, but it's hitting me a little hard right now. I need to start practicing what I preach ... that you're no better than anyone else out there, and no one else out there is better than you. I'm flawed, just like everyone else. I just kind of feel like I'm relapsing into the forgotten girl syndrome, and I'm sure that I have ownership in that; I just don't know what or how to change. I'm everyone's friend. I have no enemies, which is good in its on rite, but feeling forgettable isn't a splendid feeling, either. I don't want to be everything to everyone, by any means. I just want to be remembered, and not for bad.
I think that the season has something to do it. I usually end up feeling a little drab in the winter after the holidays pass. Maybe the California sun will perk me up a bit. :> And, most definitely the girl's trip out ... assuming that that pans out, that is. I just need a little pick me up and break from the routine. It'll be fine, but, for now, I'm feeling a little blue da ba dee. So, I'm sorry if I've been on the clingy side. I just like to be the closest that I can to the people who mean the most to me, and when I'm feeling a little low, I end up feeling that if I don't latch on a little firmer, they'll somehow slip away. But, I think that that actually ends up being counter-productive, and so I'm working on just backing off a little.
On a positive note, one of the little girls in my class is being baptized tonight, so I'm getting ready to head off to that. I'll see you all again after California, all lobster-skinned and all, I'm sure. ;)